Unikids / Vive la difference

Having kids is a good idea and I would recommend it to anyone who can afford them - because, make no mistake, they can be VERY expensive - especially if you are weak of spine.  Sometimes though...

So here's the deal - I have two kids who are both at Uni at the moment.  The financial burden could only be increased, in fact, if they both happened to be at private School together, or required finance for concurrent crack habits, so I'm thankful for small mercies.  At least they’re not eating me out of house and home for most of the year or leaving clothes, plates and other assorted junk around the place or bringing manky members of the opposite sex home to eat, drink, sleep whatever, or, or, or…I could easily go on.  Instead they are working hard at their studies (so I’m told) and, if they are misbehaving, they are doing it hundreds of miles away where I am unlikely to find out about it.  I'm also thankful that they are not burdened with the impending 9k a year fee hike which is frankly a joke and just proves that The Government has no grasp on real life whatsoever...  “Oh, loads and loads of Uni’s, both respected and of somewhat dubious reputations, have jumped onto the 9k bandwagon – we didn’t expect that!!!).  Naïve or what?  Welcome to the 51^st State…

Anyway, the blog isn't about that (honest), it's about the fact that I had to move one out of flats, etc. on a Friday and the other one on the Saturday.  That was a 200 mile trip one day followed by a 400 mile trip the next (and I ain’t no long distance driver…).  Thank heavens for the Mighty Mondeo and for cruise control...  All of that was fine and, to be fair, what I'm signed up to do as a parent but the Saturday in particular was a nice day, and I've loads of outside decorating to do, and there are only so many decent days in the British Summer as we all know, so another little opportunity drifts past.

The interesting thing though is how different the job is from one day to the next in terms of the cargo stowed into the motor.

Friday was KJ day.  We went up to the flat in halls and worked out what could be safely deposited at the new house.  The new house was organised a few weeks, maybe a couple of months ago so has simply been waiting to be vacated by the previous student tenants.  Being taken between properties were numerous items of study material – books, papers, other stationery items – plus various items of kitchenware and other assorted items of small and not very valuable hardware.  So that amounted to most of a boot load that needed to be ferried just around the corner. 

After that, we went back to the old flat and started a pincer movement on it – there was the loading of the car plus the forensic cleaning of the flat -  in the hope, not a vain one I trust, that the deposit could be reclaimed from Uni – we shall see.  What soon became apparent was that the large wheeled holdall and mammoth wheeled case would be far from adequate as containers for all of the clothes that required transport.  How this has come to pass is something of a mystery, although I doubt it would require the talents of a Marple or Colombo to solve. 

Clearly we took clothes out with us the previous September and there has been opportunity to take further quantities of clothing out during the subsequent ferrying back and forth at the start of terms but I strongly suspect that there is another reason.  My suspicion is that KJ has been living off bread and jam/marmite (hopefully not both at once) for most of each term and she has ploughed all surplus funds into New Look, Primark and their counterparts.  They have also been the recipients of the funds endowed by grandparents and other assorted members of the family at Christmas, birthday and start of term events. 

I think, as part of this apparel collection, there were enough coats/jackets to wear a different one on each day of the week.  I also think there was a different pair of shoes for each day of the month - -and not all of them particularly savoury…

This clearly put something of a strain on the motor and it is just as well that the kitchen contained a world class collection of supermarket carrier bags to put all of the stuff in.  The boot was full, the parcel shelf crammed and the back seat loaded up with a mass of cotton, polyester, viscose, leather, etc.  There was, however a glimmer of hope for the following year.  KJ has quite a large room in her new house but not that much storage space so it may force her hand to cut down the quantity of clothing.  That does fall over, though, when you consider that she won’t need storage space for shoes as the floor looks quite capacious.  We’ll see.  There was, of course her “kit” as well but this was limited to a keyboard and stand, PC, printer, clock radio and docking station.  KJ prefers to walk rather than cycle – if there was a bike it would have had to stay at the flat…  It’s as well she’s not a fat lass either because there wasn’t too much space left on that back seat.  It all got brought home safely in the end but there may be a lesson learned there for Uni Year 2..

As for “The Boy”, well it’s just a complete opposite really.  First of all there was no house to move stuff into.  This was because the house had only been signed up to on the very last day of term.  The reason for this, apparently, is because houses come up late in this particular town so there’s no point in trying to get one early beacause there aren’t any.  I suspect that is for the most part true, but there is also another suspicion, given that it took 2 weeks to find and sign for this veritable mansion, that getting up late in the day isn’t conducive to speedy resolution…  Much easier to stay in bed and pick up the crumbs left by those prepared to put the effort in (probably mostly organised females).  Various other excuses were also put forward and are the subject of a CJ blog but I take most of them with a pinch of salt.

So, EVERYTHING that had been accumulated by “The Boy” during the year needed to be fitted into the Mondeo because there was nothing else to do with it.  It was just as well that AJ (CJ’s mum) stayed at home for this one (we had planned for that in fact).  We also knew that CJ was buying himself a “decent” bike so, on a previous visit, the “indecent” bike came home in advance.  What we didn’t need too much room for in the car was clothing.  Just as well.

Being a young chap there was only a mostly full wheeled holdall and a half full suitcase to contend with.  In fact I was surprised to see CJ with a new pair of trainers – clearly an old pair had disintegrated at some point during the final term.  What you begin to realise with a chap like CJ is that the only clothing gets bought as a result of being a pre-requisite for a course (like a lab coat), having been to a gig (i.e. the odd t-shirt), having been seen on t’internet and deemed “cool” (i.e. more t-shirts) or because it is college rowing related (t-shirts, rugby shirts, actual rowing gear, and the customary blazer).  That all sounds like a lot but, in volume terms, amounts to little.

"Customary rowing blazer"

Plenty of room in the car then you might think.  Not exactly, no.  Alongside his sister there are a variety of books, papers and assorted stationery.  There are also a variety of kitchen items.  But then, to replace this apparently chronic “lack” of clothing there is a surfeit of kit.  This takes the form of the new bike (which was dismantled and place around most of the back of the car) guitar, amp, PC, netbook, 2 external drives, Joystick (not a little one, this is like part of an arcade machine…), framed picture (our fault, a present) and 24in flat screen monitor (another present).  Nearly all of this stuff is a bit delicate so it’s all boxed and therefore takes up even more room.  All of this means that the return journey is also with a car boot crammed with stuff and a back seat and parcel shelf also full.  No room, in fact, for any third body on the back seat.  The time may well come when I return with all this gear alone as there will be no space for “The Boy” himself.

The journey up and down the country to pick CJ up was started at around 7am on Saturday.  This is primarily because this Saturday heralded the start of Le Tour – easily the biggest bike race in the world and, probably, the most entertaining sporting event of the summer.  Well, there’s no World Cup or Euro Championships to “entertain” us is there?.  Sorry girls but the Women’s World Cup really doesn’t cut it… You can’t get excited by a sport that ends in a final between US and Japan, sorry.  Anyway, a 7am start allowed us to catch the best part of the first stage of Le Tour so it was well worth while.  Special commendation must also be given to CJ for assisting in this by rising at the “unfeasibly early” time of about 9am.  To be fair to “The Boy”, all of his gear was ready to shift and he also had the presence of mind to go to a Uni where women come and clean up after you every week so nothing had to be done – excellent value dude.